Monday, February 27, 2012

Tough Times

First and foremost I would like to apologize for my lapse in no writing. Times have been pretty tough lately. I recently just lost my father on December 26th of 2011. This was probably the worst day of my life. Not probably, it was. For those who don't know me, my father was my role model. He taught me everything I ever needed to know about how to be a man. Showed me how to raise a family and always do whats best for the family and not just for me. When I got that phone call from my brother, that my father had passed, the world stopped. I remember my seven year old son was standing there while I was on the phone calling my fiance and telling her to leave work because my father is gone. He had this puzzled look on his face. A look that I'll never forget. After I went over to my fathers house and the ambulance left and everyone went home. I remember just going to my house and sitting on the driveway and asking God why he had to take my father. All the people in the world that don't deserve to be here, that treat people horribly, that have no care for anything in the world, why my father? The next morning was the worst. I had to sit down and tell my kids that their Pop Pop would no longer be coming by to take them to their sporting events. Will no longer be able to come by and just hang out and laugh with them. This was tougher then anything I had ever had to do. I was so scared in how they would react and how I would react. Then, my youngest son, hit me off with such hope. He told me all the good things that he would miss about my father. All the things that I had forgotten about. The trips to the shore, the long rides to no where just so we could kick the bobo, and all the fun stuff that my father and him had done. Its been 2 months now and a day that my father has been gone. It doesn't really get any easier to be honest with you. But I have learned quite a bit in this past 61 days. I know that God's plan is always right. God just needed my father up there more then we needed him down here. I have learned to just look at life in a whole new way now. You really never know when God will call upon you and need you home. You have to live every day like its your last. Enjoy life on its own terms. My will and Gods will rarely ever match up. I just try to stay on the right path. I also realized that some people will never meet their father. Some people have their father and don't want anything to do with him. I can proudly say that I have had 29 great years with my father. Great memories are what I think of on any given day. When it all boils down, and I really just sit and think about it, I was truly blessed to have the father that I had. The only man I have ever met. Just remember to always stay positive and focused on your goals and dreams. If you keep up the hard work, it all pays off in the end. Miss ya pops. Enjoy life today. Stay blessed.